Hey people, I just wanted to speak my mind and share my intentions going forward. I wanted to save this for September but it’s gonna bug me all month if I don’t talk now.

As anyone paying attention knows, my Mindset towards my purpose with my Art Life has been fluctuating Hardcore this year. Both because of my actions and stuff that’s been going down this year. And I’ve been having to pick up the pieces of my Mental since November.

I’ve accomplished things I thought would take ages in these Four Years. Increased my Artistic Skill Exponentially. And interacted with a wide variety of people, if only Online. But at the same time I fell into behaviors that sicken me. I got and fought an Obsessive Streak, one I’m still tempering. I’ve gotten into my First Internet Arguments, some of which I was an obnoxious ass. Shared my Pain constantly to you all. This Constant Whining; which is good on a Transparency Level by keeping you all Informed of my situation and intentions but I feel like an Attention Whore whenever I do this. Especially because I’ve been seeing people who have it way worse who’d be much more deserving of Support both in my Real Life and on here.

Especially because I haven’t put out much work, despite being Busy as Hell with Creative and Personal Responsibility. Though some of you still like my WIPs which is nice. ^^

As I’ve said before, I started this path because I wanted to contribute to the world while meeting people, learning new things, and having Fun. With my Traumatized, Disabled Ass; I feel like being in any Important Roles like a Doctor or even a Store Clerk would just slow those environments down. But as an Artist I can Inspire and Comfort those more useful than myself to Society. On my own terms. And make any positive ripple in the Sea of Life I can.

But. I’m worried. I’m worried that I’m just killing the Spirits of my Followers. Toying with Emotions. Making people feel neglected or worse used by me. I’ve made a lot of connections that are very fresh. Some of you are Followers here and on Twitter. I’ve also been studying the Work of many Artists and various things Humanity has accomplished and perpetuated. In All Honesty these last Four Years have been a bit of a Blur. I don’t want people to feel I’m using them, or just Hunting Heads. But especially after my Breakdown in November, my worries of how present I am in people’s Lives have spiked. With all the Crazy Stories this year has produced too, it’s been so hard to keep my Motivation. I’m close to the Mindset I had when I started.

But this is all stuff I’ve been saying this entire year. I’m so ready to just get over it and have fun with ya’ll again. But Stories keep hitting close to home and making me reevaluate Shit.

I’m still sticking to the plans I’ve stated in the last post, staying offline for the most part until September. I got a lot of Art to work on and IRL Shit to do as usual, I might lurk around like I’ve been but to a much lesser extent.

I’m considering taking a year off but I think it’s just an overthought. I want to just go about the casual conversations and analyzing others’ Art, while sharing my work and words like I used to. And I have been to an extent.

But I need to make sure this isn’t just chasing attention and fucking with people’s heads. So please don’t feel obligated to follow me. Whether you’re a fan or friend.

I guess this Shit’s a good place to end. Screw these types of Posts for a long time. You know what I’m about if you read these.

Stay Safe out there Chooms. Live as Hard as you can, with some Responsibility.