I need to be gone for a while.

One of the Mothers died. Her condition unexpectedly got much worse. She just passed before we could get her to the vet. My Sister and Father took it very hard. First time I heard him cry.

I feel absolutely empty, except for wanting to help them.

Goodbye for now.

Edit. 10:42, 2/14/25: I don’t know how long I’ll be away.

This Decade has taken away so many loved ones from me. Animal and Person. Unfortunately, Death has always lingered around me it seems. But this decade I’ve lost loved ones nearly back to back each year. Suddenly. Ones I’ve loved for years.

Losing connections to my childhood, experiencing the most painful parts of growing up again and again.

Frankly I’m scared I haven’t cried yet. I haven’t been totally miserable all day. I’ve managed to even have some laughs.

But I’ve felt Cold, Empty, and Angry all day.

I don’t know how long I’ll be away.

But I need to take care of my Family, and not let this sadness and emptiness pause my Life.

It’s been this same damn cycle for my entire Adulthood so far. But I’ll be damned if it consumes me like it has. I’ll catch you later. Goodbye.

The part that hurts the most. Is that I prayed, begged for it not to happen. But God didn’t listen. And now I’m hearing pups cry out for a Mother who’s no longer there. But instead of making me cry, it’s boring a hole into my chest.

I want to Kill God, and Death.

That’s a bit too shitty of a note to potentially leave for weeks on. No matter how true.

Take care of yourselves folks.

I’ll be alright, so will my Family. It was just so sudden and unfair, but we’ve had her a long time and she had a Good Life. The Pups are Strong too.

And the Mother of the other litter is taking care of them too. We’re all working as a unit like we do.

Anyway that’s enough for now.

I’ll likely be back in a few weeks. Not sure how long exactly but however long is needed. I’ll still work on stuff as well.

Take Care